CSA Western Theater Training Courses

[cameronm]

Gents Colonel Stiles and myself are running a Southern Officers 4 day course early next month - date to be confirmed, yanks welcome. The starting location is is a small micro brewery near Baton Rouge. The programme is as follows:

Day 1 - Southern Womanizing 101, conducted at Miss Browns Home for Displaced Young Ladies
Day 2 - Gambling 101, conducted at Miss Browns Home for Displaced Young Ladies
Day 3 - Drinking to Excess 101, conducted at Miss Browns Home for Displaced Young Ladies
Day 4 - Combo Exercise, all three at once, conducted at Miss Browns Home for Displaced Older Ladies

Price to be confrimed.

Major General Cam McOmish
1/1/1
AoA
CSA

Captain of the CSA Womanizing Team

[sstiles]

Gen McOmish Suh

I have just left Eagle's Lurch sorry Perch - it is getting a bit rough there with all these Yanks over-indulging - not that we Southern Boys are shy when it comes to that. Anyway I have made arrangements with Belle Boyd (my favorite OAT barmaid - you know the one with the Hooters Zouave uniform) to look after all these fine Yank officers and to make sure they are in poor shape for Western Thunder. By the way do you know what the flag of the Hooter's Zouaves looks like?

Anyway I digress, Belle was telling me that she feels Yank Generals Meyer and Riggs are a bit ....shall we say "mature" for the first three days of our fantastic training course that you have thrown open to "these people". She was of the opinion that the Combo Exercise with assistants from Miss Browns Home for Displaced Older Ladies was more appropriate. She says she can see that they are "old soldiers" whatever that might mean.

Col Stewart Stiles
Chief of Staff Western Theater
5 Brig 3 Div
I Corps
AotM

[Joe Meyer]

I believe this to be nothing more than a transparent enticement on the part of these two, Rebel miscreants who are worried over their prospects in the upcoming Western Thunder Tournament to lure away as many of our officers as possible to the debilitating, draining and debaucerous activities they've prepared in Baton Rouge to guarantee our belated and sodden return to the fields of the tournament combat. It is a deplorable and utterly scandalous arrangement they've set up to help achieve that which they cannot do so by themselves on those fields. However, I have taken it upon myself to arrange for my personal attendance there with the object of proving this theory and thereby debunking the entire scheme!

[cameronm]

Well gents I thought I had better give you all an end of course report. The course was well attended by a goodly number of both union and CSA officers. Miss Browns and her displaced young ladies we most sad to see us all leave, but we all had a spring in our step and much lighter wallets. The next course is all ready being planned. Can an officer called Joe Deyer (Meyer?) give my HQ a call as you left your gloves in Miss Browns parlor.

Lieutenant General Cam McOmish
CWT
CSA

[Joe Meyer]

This 4-day sojourn down in Baton Rouge was, I am very satisfied to report, exactly what I had thought it to be; a scandalous and not too well-concealed attempt upon the part of our Rebel "brethern" to so debilitate us that we could not properly function for some time thereafter. Of course I had taken suitable precautions during the course of my investigation not overly indulge myself to the point of becoming senseless of my surroundings. Although sorely tested, Yankee stamina, I am happy to announce, is alive and well! However, there are at least two nights that I cannot recollect, nor of which I can make account!

Be that as it may, I do remember that Miss Brown, herself, was most solicitous of my presence, effusively providing me with her own very personal sevices and expertise. I believe that this very salacious Southern matron was so enamored of my innate robustness and Yankee hardihood that she virtually lost all pretense of shyness and fairly mobbed me with her affections. She was adamant at the conclusion of our acquaintance that she be allowed to keep some slight, personal item of mine as a treasured keepsake, thus the relinquishment of my gloves. I could not with a clear conscience deprive the poor woman of at least the dream that I might be returning to Baton Rouge some day to rekindle the passion which I had so obviously but unintentionally sparked within her. In that, I feel, I more than succeeded, for I never saw a more satisfied contenance upon a woman's face as that which she gave me standing there in the morning's sun as I turned in the saddle and gave her a parting salute, the smoke from her pipe delicately curling in silver tendrils around her glowing face.

It is exactly these types of sordid dalliances that can so erode and jade our battlefield prowess. Were I any less the man I am, I would not have been able to bring you this report, and you should be thankful in the extreme that you have such a watchful, diligent and industriuos commander. As a result I must insist that all AotT officers be restricted from any excursions to that place and that they properly exercise their own good judgement in refusing the false inticements offered by the Rebel Western Theater Commander for the duration of the Western Thunder Tournament.

[cameronm]

Officers of the Army of the Tennessee I think that you owe a debt of gratitude to your Commanding General for his sacrifices at Miss Browns. A fine example of leading from the front - undertaking all challenges the course had to offer to ensure that his men would not be made to suffer. He is so brave that I can confirm that he has booked a second training course – well done Suh

Lieutenant General Cam McOmish
(1/1/1)
AoA
CSA