The Confederate Patriot's Dispatch - 2nd Edit.

A place for old, "unauthorized" CSA propaganda and outdated "Forum Raid" material that serves no other purpose than to clutter up the "legitimate" forum record of the Union Army! All materials eventually placed here will have been accorded a modicum of prior exposure in the interest of maintaining what would be considered gentlemanly forebearance.

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The Confederate Patriot's Dispatch - 2nd Edit.

Postby Target1221 » Fri Aug 31, 2012 4:11 am

Your monthly paper, gentlemen. I included a wonderful exercise for you all on the last page. I understand General Meyer is going to make it "homework" for you all. You better hope he grades on a curve or your all failing :mrgreen:

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1st Edition
http://wargame.ch/board/acwgc/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=17916
Target1221
 
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Re: The Confederate Patriot's Dispatch - 2nd Edit.

Postby Olinsky » Fri Aug 31, 2012 9:46 pm

General Blake,

You forgot to include the key so that I could check that my answers are correct! ;)
Olinsky
 

Re: The Confederate Patriot's Dispatch - 2nd Edit.

Postby Target1221 » Sat Sep 01, 2012 8:16 am

Send all answers to General Meyers with my compliments :mrgreen: Also ask him when the Union will be getting a printing press. Not that they would produce anything worth reading.

I can see the headlines now:
Gen. Meyer delighted Congress today with some more of his homespun philosophy, "What happens if you get scared half to death twice?" Meyer to be given the Union Medal of Honor for his insightful speech. Presented by Gen. Meyer.

;)
Lt. Blake
Army of the Potomac


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Re: The Confederate Patriot's Dispatch - 2nd Edit.

Postby Joe Meyer » Sat Sep 01, 2012 8:58 pm

We would like to see a much larger edition of this newest example of Rebel wit, something on the order of 30 or 40 pages, weekly! We realize that may prove to be something of an impossibility as we've heard that General McOmish has lately taken to drinking ink in lieu of the current liquor shortage in the South. But I have heard that gunpowder mixes well with water to produce a decent substitute, although putting the pages up to dry could pose a problem around cigar smokers! But increasing the size of the CPD will greatly assist our Sanitary Commissions in the disbursement of theraputic papers to our troops.

It also turns out that the occupants our Prison Camps were demanding copies of the last page of this latest issue to increase their own knowledge of the world, citing their rights to a respectable education heretofore denied them as a result of the Confederate Conscription Acts. We've had occasion to watch as thousands of them sat huddled and enraptured as their officers carefully explained to them what "coloring" meant with the scrap pages they found blown in under the dead wire. The Point Lookout Prison Camp commandant has informed me that there was a demonstration raised within his impoundment yesterday for green chalk with which to color the leprechaun drawings they had made for practice as homework. However, one lecherous oldtimer among them caused something of a stir when he rendered his leprechaun as a saucy female! His drawing has been confiscated and sent to the Robert B. Furnstien Museum of Distorted and Demented Rebel Artifacts in New York City. (It was Confederate Major Robert B. Furnstien, you will recall, who defected last summer to the Union cause, claiming that he had been badly misled in his patriotism by smoking the doped and so-called Fort Sumpter Memorial Cigars handed out to passerbys in New Orleans in the Summer of '61, a box of which is on display in the museum.)
General Jos. C. Meyer,
Union Army Chief of Staff
Commander, Army of the Shenandoah
(2011-2014 UA GinC)


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Re: The Confederate Patriot's Dispatch - 2nd Edit.

Postby Target1221 » Sun Sep 02, 2012 12:29 am

So long as the Union soldiers have began to use theraputic papers! I am thrilled with the continued improvements you make. It wasn't long ago that it wasn't uncommon to see a dozen drooling Yankee generals on every street corner. Now they are still drooling but at least they have used some TP. Now... if you could only get them to wear pants :mrgreen:
Lt. Blake
Army of the Potomac


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Re: The Confederate Patriot's Dispatch - 2nd Edit.

Postby robert noftz » Sun Sep 02, 2012 8:34 pm

why, general, you are most certainly, undeniably correct at all times...! **butter butter butter**
BG Robt Noftz
5/1/VIII AotS USA

"For God & Country"

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