CSA Audit and Assessment of new Union Tavern Complex

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CSA Audit and Assessment of new Union Tavern Complex

Postby cameronm » Wed Aug 18, 2010 9:43 pm

Report as follows:

Officers of the Confederacy I wish to report on our official audit of the new Union Taverns. After being way laid at a number of drinking establishments on the way we arrived at the new Union Taverns at 0900hrs. We were met at the door by a short unassuming man and given a long list of things you can’t do. Ignoring this list we went on inside. By no stretch of the imagination could the place be called flash, but it did have a large bar – which for the next 8 hours we gave a damn good work out. The barkeep was most excellent (for a yank) and managed to keep up a respectable 3 drinks a minute serving rate. The beer and whiskey is certainly drinkable (I am sure some of it was from the south?). Having built up a fierce hunger we marched (staggered) off to the BBQ. Although there was food a plenty, it was not up to southern standards, so if you have a delicate stomach bring a picnic.
After the BBQ and a minute to sober up we headed for the Gettysburg Arms and the Winchester Arms. This is where things came to a grinding halt – we could not get in, they were both locked. Both had signs on the door saying (I kid you not) “Stay away you naughty Rebs”. Now us Confederates are amazing fellows, but we cannot audit or raid a place that is locked as tight as Fort Knox– primarily because the outer foyer is not large enough for us to get a 20lb Parrot Gun lined up on either Tavern door. So with some disappointment we head back to the main bar to drown our sorrows and any handy yanks.
At 0900hrs the following morning we shown the door (kicked out). However no loss as the bar was dry. So many thanks to my audit team - General Bastiani and Colonel Stiles. A great effort men – a well oiled Western Theater drinking machine.
So our official assessment is 7 out of 10 – not to bad for yanks :mrgreen:

Lieutenant General Cam McOmish
1/1/1
AoA
CSA

(Captain CSA Tactical Drinking Team)
Gen Cam McOmish
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Georgia State Volunteers Brigade
Patrick R. Cleburne's Division
Hardee's Corp
(1/1/1)
Confederate Army of Tennessee

CSA
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Re: CSA Audit and Assessment of new Union Tavern Complex

Postby gbastiani » Wed Aug 18, 2010 10:45 pm

What a bunch unfriendly no counts, ride all the way up here. Hot, dry and thirsty and no one to offer use a drink not even some sweet tea. But then again look who were talking about :lol: I even would of bought them a round or three.
Lt Gen Gery Bastiani
2nd Engineers Bte
AotM CSA
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Re: CSA Audit and Assessment of new Union Tavern Complex

Postby Philbert » Wed Aug 18, 2010 10:49 pm

gbastiani wrote:What a bunch unfriendly no counts, ride all the way up here. Hot, dry and thirsty and no one to offer use a drink not even some sweet tea. But then again look who were talking about :lol: I even would of bought them a round or three.



Gentlemen,

I do quite apologize for having locked the door at the Gettysburg tavern to you fine Southern gentlemen. Please come again so the entire AotP can be ready for you to give you the welcome that you deserve...

::Primes the cannons and loads the muskets::
Philbert
 

Re: CSA Audit and Assessment of new Union Tavern Complex

Postby gbastiani » Wed Aug 18, 2010 10:58 pm

No getting unfriendly General Philbert, the good General and I were only wanting a few drinks and we'd even pay for them and a round on the bar for the rest of you hooligans :o . Paid with gold taken from the last Yankee supply wagon that we came upon :lol: Just kidding there freshly minted coins right out of Richmond
Lt Gen Gery Bastiani
2nd Engineers Bte
AotM CSA
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Re: CSA Audit and Assessment of new Union Tavern Complex

Postby Philbert » Thu Aug 19, 2010 12:47 am

gbastiani wrote:No getting unfriendly General Philbert, the good General and I were only wanting a few drinks and we'd even pay for them and a round on the bar for the rest of you hooligans :o . Paid with gold taken from the last Yankee supply wagon that we came upon :lol: Just kidding there freshly minted coins right out of Richmond



General,

If you want the drinks, please come and get them. We'll be waiting for you on little round top and cemetary ridge...


:twisted:
Philbert
 

Re: CSA Audit and Assessment of new Union Tavern Complex

Postby mperrenod » Sat Aug 21, 2010 7:34 am

A pretty fair assessment, Gen. McOmish. Although having visited your lines, I'd have to say that your food is not up to Southern standards, either.

Not our fault, Gen. Bastiani, if Gen. McOmish drank up all the confiscated corn liquor before you arrived.

Gen. Matt Perrenod
The Blue Ghost
1/2/VIII Army of the Shenandoah
Superintendent, Union Military Academy
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Re: CSA Audit and Assessment of new Union Tavern Complex

Postby laubster22 » Tue Aug 24, 2010 1:15 am

Geez, shoulda known McOmish and Bastiani would already be trying to raid the whiskey supplies!
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General Jeff Laub
Iron Brigade
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Army of the Potomac
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Re: CSA Audit and Assessment of new Union Tavern Complex

Postby Philbert » Thu Aug 26, 2010 12:58 am

laubster22 wrote:Geez, shoulda known McOmish and Bastiani would already be trying to raid the whiskey supplies!



But while they were doing that I sent the cavalry off with the gold and the barmaids. We should be hearing from them shortly...although I fear they are a few weeks overdue.

:o
Philbert
 

Re: CSA Audit and Assessment of new Union Tavern Complex

Postby gbastiani » Thu Sep 02, 2010 9:43 pm

The gold and barmaids were rerouted through Richmond that's why they are overdue. General Laub Suh, you forgot to add "again" as in raiding the whiskey supplies "again" :lol:
Lt Gen Gery Bastiani
2nd Engineers Bte
AotM CSA
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